Oh the Bachelorette…I just couldn’t resist…
“Ed leaving made me realize how serious this is…” – Jillian. Really Jillian? Did you not realize that it choosing a husband was serious before?
“I still miss Ed…I would love to be around someone who can cheer me up tonight.” – Jillian. So now you’re just looking for a rebound? This is the problem with turning love into a competition – there’s no turning back. There’s no being patient with each other or compromising – its stay on the show or give up on it ever working. Not such a good model for marriage. In a relationship, compromises are going to have to happen. I have yet to meet a happily married coupe that hasn’t had to make compromises.
“I’ve been asking for a one on one so I can show her I’m a guy she could fall in love with.” – Robby. As cute as these dates are, when they’re created by the show’s producers they don’t show anything about the guys.
“Love doesn’t have an age, love don’t have a job, love can happen at any time.” – Robby.
“I wish I had a bigger vocabulary so I could describe how I felt.” – Robby. I think this one speaks for itself, considering the only word that he could use is “relaxing” before he said that.
“Having these heartbreaking days just keeps getting harder and harder.” – Jillian. Did you think it would be easy to reject people you had hooked up with when they think you’re the only girl out there?
“The fame I’ll get from this…there’s no doubt this will help me. I’ll always have Jillian wrapped around my little finger.” – Wes. Women of the world, please, PLEASE show me you have some common sense. Blacklist him. Don’t pretend y’all don’t get together and have some secret list of undateable guys. You don’t have to justify it – just add him to it.
“I want to get as close to her feet as possible.” – Tanner. Weirdo.
“I feel like when you’re in the snow you can do whatever you want.” – Jillian. I think that comes a few weeks from now when the overnight dates…oh wait, that’s a bad idea, too…
“So this girl is out with your friends. Have you told her how you felt?” Conductor. “No.” – Reid. “That’s a big problem” – Conductor. Finally some common sense. Oh wait, the conductor doesn’t realize how long…err short…they’ve know each other.
“It’s crazy how fast this all happens.” – Jillian. Light bulb moment. Now that the light bulb has gone on, will being able to see what’s going on make any difference? Highly doubtful. And there she goes kissing another guy…
“I think I’m a little shy…but I want a hometown date. I’m going to step it up.” – Tanner. This just seconds before he drops his pants to show Jillian (and all the other guys) what he sleeps in at night.
“It’s real now. There’s real emotions invested.” – Jesse. Were you faking it before? Well, it got him some kissing time with Jillian.
“This is a competition…and whatever you can do to get ahead…It wasn’t something I liked to do.” – Tanner. Not surprisingly, Wes bashes him for it. Have I mentioned I think turning love into a competition is a bad idea? How much will all these guys care about Jillian once she’s no longer a prize to be won? What happens when the new prize is the new office secretary or law firm partner? Sorry Jillian, but you’re just an old trophy gathering dust now.
“Will Michael get a hometown date? Or will his dream of love be crushed forever?” – Narrator. Shame on ABC for pretending like all the guys who don’t get Jillian will never find love. As wonderful as Jillian may be, she’s obviously not the right guy for every guy on the show. Sorry ABC, but the show isn’t “Last Woman on Earth.” Heck, perhaps it show even be titled “A Bachelorette.”
“I really, really like you. I’m not going to tell you I love you, but everything’s lining up.” – Jake. Not bad for this show. Though he blows it a few minutes later when off-stage (yes, off-stage) he says “Jillian’s the one I want to marry.”
What did you think of me when you first saw me when you were with 29 other guys?” “Well, you stood out to me.” – Reid. Well-spoken Reid! I would hope that if you were going on “The Bachelorette,” you weren’t gay so the woman should stand out among the other 29 guys…
“I really thought by now I would have this nailed down…” – Jillian before the rose ceremony. Well, now that you’ve kissed them all multiple times…
“It makes me feel really lucky and really grateful…” – Jillian at the rose ceremony about how she was thankful for all the guys caring about her. Yes, be grateful that you’re a prize to be won. Be grateful that Wes wants to boost his music career. Be grateful that ABC wants high ratings and is willing to use you as a pawn.
“I would have liked to have know what it was. I did everything I could do…” – Jake. Jake, you’re better than a TV show romance. It shouldn’t be a fight for one prize – there are other girls out there. The previews for the next weeks show clips from the finale with Jillian visibly and verbally distraught over how she’s not sure if she’s making the right choice. This isn’t how engagements are supposed to happen. It should be a joyful experience, not one that leaves you in tears of sorrow. It should be a celebration of your final commitment to the one you love, not marriage by elimination. How can you say be happy when you’ve just eliminated several guys you recently spent the night with?
“Am I too cynical?” – Me.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
And the winner is...the divorce rate!
After watching (and laughing mockingly at) the past two episodes of ABC's “The Bachelorette,” I've begun to wonder how our culture has substituted its own definitions for love and relationships. How foolish must we be to think that someone can find their true love out of a handful of guys selected by a television station? Because obviously ABC is an expert matchmaker and cares only about the happiness of the bachelor/bachelorette... Wait, what about the two dozen suitors? Actually, I'm pretty sure ABC is more concerned with ratings than any of that.
American culture says you must win to be happy. You have to be the best, better than everyone else. When those values are applied to relationships, you get reality shows like “The Bachelor/Bachelorette.” Instead of individuals looking for someone they are compatible with, they fight like dogs to win – perhaps steal is a better word – the heart of the one person ABC chose for them. One of the most amusing and saddest parts of the show is watching every guy talk about how he feels some sort of deep connection with the girl. Wake up call! You've only known she existed for a few weeks! When the guy on the glacier date said that was the best day of his life, the only excuse I could think of for him saying that was the airplane and the glacier, not the girl. Either that or he's had a pretty boring life. How much of the romance will be left when they're eating TV dinners watching “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” instead of rolling around on their own glacier?
“The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” portray love as a prize to be won, a game where there are winners and losers. At the rose ceremonies I've seen, I've never once seen a guy say anything close to, “Ya know, she's a great girl, but I don't think she's the one for me.” Instead its all fluff – sure they always show the girl asking if they guy wants to have kids, but their answers are as predictable as someone who memorized answers for a job interview: “Certainly, I want a family and kids,” they all say. Call me cynical, but I can't believe that all of them truly want that – or at least understand what they're saying they want. Other than kids, there's all this ooey-gooey touchy-feely stuff that seems to be based a lot more on lust than love.
Every guy wants to win – its embedded in being an American and being a guy. However, there are some things that just aren't about winning in the traditional sense. Back in high school, my English teacher had the seniors in his class announce results of college applications regardless of whether they were accepted, rejected, or wait-listed. He insisted that we celebrate rejections as well as acceptances because they were just as valuable because even though it stung, it was better to be rejected outright rather than to be accepted to a college that you wouldn't be happy at and have to either suck it up for four years or go through the process of transferring. Dating should be the same way. Sure, breaking up isn't the best feeling in the world, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a couple that's gone through a nasty divorce who would say fighting for every last piece of property felt better than breaking up.
“The Bachelorette” would make a great romantic comedy – all the laughs, and when it was over, nobody actually gets hurt. However, as a reality show, the problems don't end when the credits role.
American culture says you must win to be happy. You have to be the best, better than everyone else. When those values are applied to relationships, you get reality shows like “The Bachelor/Bachelorette.” Instead of individuals looking for someone they are compatible with, they fight like dogs to win – perhaps steal is a better word – the heart of the one person ABC chose for them. One of the most amusing and saddest parts of the show is watching every guy talk about how he feels some sort of deep connection with the girl. Wake up call! You've only known she existed for a few weeks! When the guy on the glacier date said that was the best day of his life, the only excuse I could think of for him saying that was the airplane and the glacier, not the girl. Either that or he's had a pretty boring life. How much of the romance will be left when they're eating TV dinners watching “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” instead of rolling around on their own glacier?
“The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” portray love as a prize to be won, a game where there are winners and losers. At the rose ceremonies I've seen, I've never once seen a guy say anything close to, “Ya know, she's a great girl, but I don't think she's the one for me.” Instead its all fluff – sure they always show the girl asking if they guy wants to have kids, but their answers are as predictable as someone who memorized answers for a job interview: “Certainly, I want a family and kids,” they all say. Call me cynical, but I can't believe that all of them truly want that – or at least understand what they're saying they want. Other than kids, there's all this ooey-gooey touchy-feely stuff that seems to be based a lot more on lust than love.
Every guy wants to win – its embedded in being an American and being a guy. However, there are some things that just aren't about winning in the traditional sense. Back in high school, my English teacher had the seniors in his class announce results of college applications regardless of whether they were accepted, rejected, or wait-listed. He insisted that we celebrate rejections as well as acceptances because they were just as valuable because even though it stung, it was better to be rejected outright rather than to be accepted to a college that you wouldn't be happy at and have to either suck it up for four years or go through the process of transferring. Dating should be the same way. Sure, breaking up isn't the best feeling in the world, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a couple that's gone through a nasty divorce who would say fighting for every last piece of property felt better than breaking up.
“The Bachelorette” would make a great romantic comedy – all the laughs, and when it was over, nobody actually gets hurt. However, as a reality show, the problems don't end when the credits role.
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