Like, Spiritually We’re All the Same…

The more TV I watch, the more I become intrigued when a commercial, either wittingly or unwittingly, reveals some greater truth relevant to life beyond the tube or whatever product is being sold. In a new Volkswagen commercial, a woman has a conversation with an old Volkswagen van about the differences between Volkswagens and other cars. She starts off saying they’re all the same, until the Volkswagen lists off several features the Volkswagen has and the woman has no response. “So you mean like spiritually, we’re all the same. I can dig it, man,” concludes the old Volkswagen van sarcastically.

I knew there was a reason Volkswagen vans were worth three points when we played beetle bugs growing up! In all seriousness though, how is it possible for van to utter such profound truth when politicians bumble and stumble around the idea that not all religions are the same. It should be a sign of intelligence, not intolerance, that people recognize the inherent, and often irreconcilable, differences between religions. One need not look any further to Hitler to know that history has shown examples of individuals who have used differences in religion for personal gain. However, there have also been a large number of religiously motivated individuals who have worked tireless to improve the human condition for people regardless of their religion like Mother Teresa, so to claim that acknowledging religions are indeed different automatically leads to abuses is playing the politics of fear.

For anyone unconvinced of the differences of religions, one need look no further than monotheistic versus polytheistic religions. Hinduism, Wicca, and Mahayana Buddhism are polytheistic; Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are monotheistic, and Theravada Buddhism and atheism believe in no God. Obviously, of any group is correct, the others can’t be. If atheists are correct that God doesn’t exist, no matter how sympathetic you are, Christians are wrong. As are Hindus, wiccans, Jews, and Muslims. Christians and Muslims believe after people die once, people go to either heaven and hell (with different requirements for getting into paradise) so if they are correct, the religions that believe in reincarnation are wrong.

Some will argue that its only the “big three” – Christianity, Islam, and Judaism – are spiritually compatible because they are all monotheistic and claim their roots in Abraham. While they may have similar roots, their beliefs are undeniably different, especially when it comes to salvation and the afterlife. The bible, Christianity’s main text, clearly states it’s exclusive path to salvation – believe in Jesus as the savior. The Koran does the same except instead of Jesus being the only path, it’s a belief in Allah and good works. To Muslims, Jesus is merely a prophet, not a part of the Godhead, and certainly not a requirement for salvation in the way Jesus is to Christians. To Jews, the afterlife is downplayed and Jesus certainly wasn’t God and plays no part in salvation. Again, given these three diverting views, only one (if any at all) can be correct. If Jesus is only a prophet, he can’t be the savior; if Jesus was neither a prophet nor God, he really isn’t important.

It’s easier for us to focus only on the uniting factors while dismissing differences. And there is certainly a time to put differences aside temporarily to unite behind any number of the values different religions share. However, to ignore them indefinitely, or relegate them to insignificance does no one any good. Every human being has value, regardless of what faith they chose to follow, but to argue that all faiths are the same is foolish.

Super Bowl Commericals (Fourth Quarter)

Coke Zero - Repeat: Eh - not quite deserving of its predecessor. Coke Zero commercials were never that funny to begin with. At least give the kid the suit jacket - who wants a ripped shirt?

Cash4Gold.com - MC Hammer: Much better anticipated than when I first saw it was going to be a cash for gold commercial. MC Hammer seems to be the default old guy for cheap commercials every super bowl.

Taco Bell - Call me sometime: Old. Was funny the first time but gets old really fast.

GE - Smartgrid Technology: Why does the vast majority of America need to know about smart electrical grids? It's not like we have a choice for which energy company we use. Cute touch with the Wizard of Oz though. Still, someone please tell me why we need to know about this.

Hulu: See commercials anytime: It only softens the brain. Probably very true and people are still going to watch commercials over and over online...

Finally getting dinner...

GE - Wind Power: Another pretty good commercial from GE but the question still remains: Why does most of America need to know GE is building windmills? Can I buy one for my backyard to reduce my electric bill? No? Then why do I care? Do they want me to donate to them or something?

Pepsi - MacGruber: Umm....Yes, I get the reference. However, what does MacGruber stand for? Obviously not resourcefulness, he's not a hero, he's just a corporate sellout who even changes his name because a company pays him. So which Pepsi person thought it'd be a great idea to portray your company as the one promoting sellouts? What happened to individuality? Not to mention the result of said selling out is getting blown up?

There's been surprisingly few commercials this quarter. The Cardinals just scored but it didn't go to commercials. Is it possible that not only has NBC had to run crummy ads multiple times to fill airspace but has also simply run out of ads? As cool as an overtime game would be, I don't know if I can take too many more crummy commercials. (For the record, I will take an overtime game even if I have to look away

Bud Light Lime: Doesn't make me want to try it. Maybe Bud Light figured most people would be too drunk at this point in the game to realized that simply carrying Bud Light Lime doesn't equal girls and sunshine.

The FCC needs to stop the "committee hearings." There's no reason for that.

And still no more commercials. Either NBC is completely out of commercials or they're idiots. If I had anyone will to pay anything close to what a Super Bowl ad goes for, take the money and run! It's like an empty hotel room - even if the hotel doesn't get 100% of its target price, it's not like it can save it for tomorrow to see if the price goes up. Once the Super Bowl is over, it's over!

And now the Super Bowl IS over. And we're still not going to commercials.

Super Bowl Commericals (Third Quarter)

Ok second half. I'm expecting improvements from both the ads and the Cardinals. And from dinner. I can't believe I'm actually going to start making food while the game's going rather than during a commercial...

Coca Cola - not sure how to describe it: Boring. Next.

Bridgestone - Spacemen "Jump Around": After the Mr. and Mrs. Potato head, I expected more. Really didn't see the connection to tires...but maybe I'm just getting tired.

Denny's - Mobsters: Not bad until the end. Start with the mobsters talking about putting a hit out on someone but keeps getting interrupted by whipped cream being sprayed on the pancakes. Ends promising a gland slam breakfast to everyone in America. Sweet. I will be trying to find where the closest Denny's is.

Monster.com - Moose Body: Slightly better than average. Gets the point across but is rather boring. Knowing the potential for job sites - especially given the large newly unemployed target audience - I expected more.

Budweiser - Irish Clydesdale: This is going to be sweet. As soon as I heard the Irish accent and saw the horse, I got excited. Great fake jobs - the racehorse especially. Even an appeal to patriotism. But still, not quite sure how horses equate to buying beer.

Race to Witch Mountain: Not on my list to see.

The Office: Three guest stars - doesn't really amuse me. White guy yelling "Barack is president!" to try to revive a black guy - slightly amusing.

Finally going to put food in the microwave...

Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen: I'm biased because I really liked the first one. Otherwise I would have thought it was just a special effects show with absolutely no plot. When special effects were truly groundbreaking, you could sell a movie with just special effects - I can't tell you the plot of Independence Day, but I can tell you a lot of buildings looked really cool blowing up. Not anymore. If I don't see a better trailer with some semblance of a plot it's off my list. And they better have a plausible explanation for

I didn't notice who the ad was for - If you hate going to work, it may be time: I was about to completely blast this ad until the koala got punched. That was kind of cute. Otherwise, how many people are seriously thinking about leaving their job right now? And the repetition was just annoying.

Coca-Cola - Animals Stealing Bottle: Better than the earlier attempts, bright colors, kinda cute computer generated animals...can you tell I'm stretching to complement here?

Frosted Flakes - New baseball field: Did anyone mention to Kellog that the Super Bowl is a football game? Not a baseball game?

Usama Young - Snow Cone Vendor: Haha. Actually was amusing. Especially the end about being in the super bowl.

Unnamed security company (I refuse to give you more publicity than you deserve) did you seriously waste a SECOND ad slot with the guy getting stuck in the door? This is one company that obviously doesn't need a bailout.

Hangintherejack.com: Umm...at least that other not to be named website thought they could attract views by an attractive woman potentially naked in the shower. As bad as that is, it's probably going to get a lot more traffic than some egghead mascot who just got hit by a bus.

I think that was the third local newscast commercial I've seen tonight. NBC must be really desperate. If this can't get the Republicans and Democrats together to pass a stimulus bill I don't know what will.

Chuck in 1-D: Another dumb waste of a repeat.

Speaking of wastes, that security company just ran the SAME BAD AD a THIRD TIME! And now the fee pig is back! These two companies should be financing a bailout because the obviously have too much free money. Or perhaps they should spend some of it on a better marketing department.

And a FOURTH local news ad. I knew they were having a little trouble with ads, but this is nuts.

Super Bowl Commericals (Halftime)

Nextel – Roadies running the airport: Sorry, but as much as I loved that commercial the first time I can’t give it the major props as I would have loved to have seen a really funny new one of roadies running the world. I guess technically I still shouldn’t give it major props because it’s not a new series (see Bud Light ad commentary) but I was looking forward to a new set or roadies running the world commercials.

NFL Network – Darren McFadden: Darren who? I haven’t heard from this guy since he was in college. Why in the world does he get a Super Bowl ad? Well, why would anyone be featured? Here’s what I can think of: 1) Star power: Someone everyone recognizes and wants to watch on TV. Not McFadden. 2) Star team or at least major market: Nope. The scariest thing about the hapless Oakland Raiders is owner Al Davis’ face. 3) Great personal story: Nope. Not that I know of and certainly not that the commercial shows. 4) It’s Darren McFadden: Check! Ok, this isn’t really a reason, but I can’t think of any other justification for this ad.

Heroes – Hall of Famers vs. Heroes: Sweet. Finally a TV show commercial that does more than just show clips from the upcoming episode. NBC finally did well working in all of the powers of the characters in a reasonable manner. Forgive the lack of names as I don’t watch the show, but the cheerleader surviving a major hit, the dude flying on a crossing route, and the Asian guy stopping time to grab the ball away from a defender worked well. Cute line to tell Jerry Rice he’s going to need some help on offense and major props for picking a football player to have super powers to make it unique to the show. Not sure John Elway was the most practical to have be able to fly, but it works.

Bruce Springsteen just told me turn my tv. So I switched to ABC’s Wipeout. That wasn’t all he said? He said to turn it up? Opps. And changing back…just in time to see him slide hips first into the center of my HD screen. Back to wipeout.

The ref calling delay of game was the best part of the halftime show. Can the FCC suspend the Super Bowl halftime should for disrespecting the officials?

Toyota: Another letdown.

Priceline – The Negotiator: This commercial really wasn’t that funny the first time it came out – a long time ago. It’s certainly not funny now.

Overstock.com – Carlos Boozer: Confusion overrides minor amusement.

LMAO: Not too bad, but there was a minimal connection to the shows. I think 30 Rock is on the night they were talking about, but I certainly can’t tell you what time.

CPI Security: Burglar Gets Trapped: Old line, really not that funny. Even fails to get the point across because if the burglar gets stuck, why do you even need a security system? He’ll be right there waiting for you. He doesn’t even break the door. If I’m going to spend my money, you better protect me from something scary. Like Al Davis. Maybe my next job should be in the CPI marketing department…

Charlotte Metro Credit Union – Fee Pig: This can’t be a national commercial, can it? Not only is it boring, it’s got to be at least three months old. Where is the stimulus package?

Nextel – Garbage Truck Holds Truck Hostage: Slightly funny the first time – but old. I expected more.

High Life – One Second: Not bad. Would have been funnier unannounced.

Super Bowl Commericals (First Half)

So to the best of my knowledge, the Super Bowl ads have sold out (see my blog from two days ago for details). For my blog today I’ll have a running commentary on the commercials.

Doritos – Snow globe predicts the future: Pretty well done. Not quite sure how it makes me want to eat Doritos more but that failure to properly use phony technology is almost always going to garner a few laughs. Promotion possible for the creators of this ad.

Budweiser – Weird actor does dumb commercial: Slightly amusing but not Super Bowl worthy. I mean, you’ve got to come up with something better than a weird Swedish commercial shown in Times Square for the big game.

Halftime Show Ad: Ok, maybe NBC didn’t sell out all of the ads. Why in the world would you waste valuable ad time telling about the halftime show when you can have your announcers do that? Oh, wait, they did that about seconds later. Sorry NBC but I’m seriously considering watching ABC’s “Wipeout” during halftime. Can we get someone my generation has heard of for the big show at the big game? And please, I know its asking a lot, lets not make an awful mix like we suffered through with NSYNC/Aerosmith. On their own they would have been fine. Think less is more.

Bridgestone – Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head: Amusing AND product related. Who hasn’t had a blabber mouth that your stuck with (not necessarily a wife) and wanted a way to make them zip it? Or at least had to slam on the breaks and hope your car can stop in time?

Side note: do they still make potato head dolls?

Not even going to mention the name of the company that always seems to think attractive females make men want a website. Garbage.

Budweiser: Clydesdales playing fetch: Ok, I’m impartial because in college I was a “Clydesdale” on the cross country team, but still a sweet commercial. Again, a lack of product/commercial connection, but who doesn’t love Clydesdales showing up the Dalmatian?

Budweiser – Clydesdale Romeo: I’m starting to wonder if its possible to make a bad Clydesdale commercial, especially when the Clydesdale is the underdog. America loves an underdog, and the underdog Cardinals are certainly not looking like they’ll satisfy that love tonight.

Cars.com – child prodigy grows up: Another well done commercial. Amusing set up and then great product placement. Sucks in the businessman (pie chart at 3), ladies man (asking out the older girl prior to 4th grade), genius (applies for dean of Princeton), professional (open heart surgery), and person who fears making the wrong big investment (almost everyone), then provides a simple solution that attracts even the tech geek as he uses his blackberry to go to cars.com.

Not a commercial, but people always look funnier in slow motion. Take Santonio Holmes: Roders-Cromartie deflects the ball and it hits Holmes in the head. At full speed it doesn’t look bad but when you slow it down you can see his head bobbling all over the place as he tried to locate the ball.

Hyundai – everyone knows how to say it now: Is that how you even spell it? The only other recognizable company in the commercial was BMW – and honestly that was the most memorable part.

Pixar – Up: Is this seriously a movie? I mean really. How much can go wrong with an old man and a young boy stuck in a house? Michael Jackson do NOT answer that.

Bud Light – Skiing: Nice use of an ongoing campaign with the drawings. But the super Bowl really isn’t the place for ongoing campaigns. This is where you go big or go home and while it’s not the worst commercial by any means, this one can go home.

Another commercial for the halftime show? Seriously. Obama better get the economy going so we can start watching better ads…

H&R Block - Death: Ok. I guess it works, but not that great. Would have been better if it used “I’ll see you in eight days” as the closing line rather than “Can you validate my parking?”

Telefora – Send Live Flowers: Harsh words from the dead flowers in the box. Needs a little more memorable name. If I didn’t write it down at the start of the review, I would have forgotten it before I started typing this last sentence.

Please tell me the blue car is not going to be a Viagra ad…hmm, its not. Just some type of ad for NBC. Call an emergency session of congress and pass a stimulus bill now!! Please!!!

Cheetos – Pigeons: Eh, the other one was funnier. Sure this woman’s kinda annoying but it didn’t make me crack up when she got swarmed by pigeons. I know pigeons are brave, but why would one fly on her bag on the table right in front of her when the food is on the ground? Poor technical research.

Ok my friend just asked me what the halftime show is going to be. So not only are the halftime show ads annoying they’re also useless. Well done NBC.

Incredible return by Harrison. And now he's completely out of breath. I see a future commercial using him lying flat on the ground, totally sapped, and then is given Gatorade, Vitamin water, Powerade, heck even an oxygen tank company, and then show him dominating the second half. Bailout package to the company that comes up with the best commercial!

And great sideline reporting: "Coach, you were about to score and then they did. What happened from your perspective?" "Well, since I was on the near sideline, the ball started out to my left, made its way right in front of me, and then kept going to my right."

Monsters vs. Aliens: Seriously?

Sobe - Aliens and weird guys trying to dance: Why would I want a product that makes me dress in all white? Or dances like that? Or turns me into one of those ugly aliens? That's all.