Correction: Subdued Dull Sunday

I do my best to write only the truth, but occasionally I do make mistakes, and when I do, I like to correct them. Last week I wrote about how the Super Bowl is no longer the cultural phenomenon that it used to be (Subdued Dull Sunday). I was wrong. No, not about eighth graders, but about most people not having the same enthusiasm for they game that they used to. I forgot about a very important demographic, imprisoned males, who apparently are still incredibly passionate about watching the game. On Sunday, at least eight inmates in Prince George’s County jail picked their locks and stormed out of their cells, furious that they were unable to watch the game (Washington Post Article). Now that’s what I call passion! If I were in jail and could pick a lock, I’d try to escape, not watch a football game.

I can’t believe I didn’t see it – it’s a genius guerilla marketing strategy. Most people would think, “Why in the world would a company target inmates?” Think on the bright side: in a down economy, who’s not becoming unemployed? Criminals! What profession is always open to new employees? Crime! Now, I still don’t claim to be economist, but gaining a strong following among the growing demographic sounds pretty smart to me. Inmates don’t have much purchasing power while in prison – just ask Michael Vick who’s making twelve cents an hour washing dishes. But when they get out, they can make crime pay.

Jail mates share secrets like middle school girls. If they share how to pick locks or avoid drug busts, they’ll certainly share favorite teams. Once inmates are released, the first thing they’ll steal is a TV to watch the game. Television ratings don’t care what kind of TV is tuned to the game – flatscreen or plasma, color or black and white, purchased or stolen – just that its on. It’s a good thing prisoners follow pro football that has an undisputable champion – if they stormed the guards just for the Super Bowl, think how many more brawls there’d be if the NFL used the BCS rankings to determine a winner!

So I was mistaken, the NFL is not headed for financial disaster or obscurity. They have a secret plan to increase profitability centered on incarcerated males, and seeing as the inmates revealed that they can pick their locks just to watch the games, it seems foolproof. Unless, of course, the inmates just wanted to watch the commercials like the rest of us.